The cheek-kiss dilemma is one you’re likely to encounter at some point in your life, especially if you travel or study abroad. It’s hard enough to know sometimes whether you should go for a handshake, a hug or a kiss on the cheek, but even when you stick to a cheek-kiss, it can still be tricky. How many? Which side do I start on? (And how do I not end up looking as awkward as the couple in the picture?)
Truth be told, it’s hard to preempt what the other person will do, but having a little cheek-kiss know-how in your cultural arsenal can go a long way. Here are a few tips on how to cheek-kiss properly:
1. Be prepared
If you’re in a group setting where everyone is greeting each other, it’s easiest to hang back, have a nosey at what the others are doing and try to copy that. If it’s a one-on-one encounter, it gets a bit trickier. First things first: be prepared. If the setting is very professional, it’s likely that a handshake may be favored. In most other scenarios a cheek-kiss is just fine.
2. Set it up
Once you’ve committed to a cheek-kiss, make sure you set it up correctly. Approach the person you’re meeting and gently place your hand on their upper arm. “Gently” is the key word here – no one wants to be ambushed or charged at with an outstretched arm. Then turn your cheek towards the other person and lean in.
Let’s pause for a minute here – although most people lead with their right cheek and lean to their left, in Italy it’s customary to lead with the left cheek and lean to the right. It’s not as complicated as it sounds – promise! So, unless you’re on a weekend jaunt to Italy, stick to leaning left.
3. Know how many kisses
This is where it can get a little tricky. Whilst it’s customary to kiss twice in Spain, Italy and most of France, there are other places where people prefer one, two, three or even four kisses. In most cases, it’s safest to opt for the classic middle, one quick kiss on each cheek (for more detailed breakdowns by region, check out this helpful article).
Remember not to actually kiss the person on the cheek. Instead, gently rest your cheek against theirs and kiss the air. There are a select few individuals who insist on kissing others squarely on the cheek, leaving you to peck the air miles away from their face, but thankfully such experiences are far and few between.
4. Do it all again
Once you’ve mastered the hello, it’s far easier to breeze through the goodbye. Just replicate what you both did upon greeting each other and you’ll be set! The key with cheek-kissing is to be cool, swift and not to overthink – just do what comes naturally whilst keeping the cultural context in mind and you’ll be cheek-kissing with confidence in no time.
FAQs
Remember not to actually kiss the person on the cheek. Instead, gently rest your cheek against theirs and kiss the air. There are a select few individuals who insist on kissing others squarely on the cheek, leaving you to peck the air miles away from their face, but thankfully such experiences are far and few between.
How do you give someone a quick kiss? ›
A peck is the quickest of all kisses, so don't let it linger. Make the kiss last long enough that your lips touch him, but pull away right after that. Practice the kiss so you get a feel for how long it should be. Remember, touch your lips to skin, and then pull away.
How do you initiate a cheek kiss? ›
Once you've committed to a cheek-kiss, make sure you set it up correctly. Approach the person you're meeting and gently place your hand on their upper arm. “Gently” is the key word here – no one wants to be ambushed or charged at with an outstretched arm. Then turn your cheek towards the other person and lean in.
Do you kiss each other on the cheek in the United States? ›
United States and Canada
Occasionally, cheek kissing is a romantic gesture. Cheek kissing of young children by adults of both sexes is perhaps the most common cheek kiss in North America. Typically, it is a short, perfunctory greeting, and is most often done by relatives.
What is a quick kiss called? ›
1. The Peck. This quick, light kiss on the lips or cheek is often used as a greeting or farewell, says Price, Jaiya doesn't recommend it for couples since she feels it's shallow and lacks intimacy.
How do you ask a girl for a kiss on the cheek? ›
Try this: Lean towards someone and offer them your cheek. Give them eye contact while tapping your cheek. If your partner responds to that, try tapping on other parts of your face or body. Write your request on a piece of paper and pass it on a note.
How intimate is a kiss on the cheek? ›
A kiss on the cheek is often a friendly greeting or platonic gesture. From a friend or family member, a kiss on the cheek is a thoughtful way of saying, "I care about you." A kiss on the cheek from a crush or single acquaintance could mean they like you as more than a friend.
Which side of the cheek to kiss first? ›
Usually, it's right cheek first but prepare to change direction at the last minute. Pull back decisively (but don't be too abrupt) if you are just giving one kiss. Be cautious with those you are less familiar with – two kisses might seem over the top.
How to spice up kissing? ›
If you are used to kissing your partner on the lips alone, leave soft kisses on your partner's various erogenous points, before slowly working your way back to their lips. Places such as the nape of the neck, ears, and breasts can increase the level of intimacy between you and your partner.
What is the best way to initiate a kiss? ›
If you're about to kiss someone for the first time, make sure you're reading the situation correctly by asking verbally. From there, you can set the moment with your body language — moving in a bit closer, cupping their cheek — or use both words and actions. Consent isn't just important. It can also be pretty sexy.
It's more of a “lightly touch your cheek to the other person's cheek while kissing the air” kind of thing. If you're not sure what the local customs are, follow the lead of the people you're interacting with (meaning don't go in for the kiss unless they initiate it first).
How to ask a female friend for a kiss? ›
Confidently tell her you'd like to kiss her.
So just tell her you want to kiss her -- it's not forceful or rude, just confidently romantic. "I want to kiss you right now." Unless she says "no," move in slowly after you say it. "I'd love a kiss before I go." "Let's kiss."
Should a guy kiss a girl on the cheek? ›
A kiss on the cheek or a peck is a friendly gesture, which does not imply any serious romantic inclination. It only means that they like you but will never be drawn to you romantically.
How do you kiss someone easily? ›
- Build up to the kiss. ...
- 2. Make sure the kiss has your, and the other party's, consent. ...
- Start things slow. ...
- Keep your mouth soft and relaxed. ...
- Switch your area of focus and/or your speed. ...
- Speaking of area of focus — move things away from their lips. ...
- Go easy on the tongue.
Dip the person back and hold them while you kiss if they're shorter. For an ultra-sexy kiss that is easy to achieve, the taller partner can dip the shorter partner back so that they're almost parallel to the ground and support them with their arms while kissing them. Be careful not to strain your back when you do this.
How do you kiss someone suddenly? ›
Try leaning in closer to her, but stopping a few inches from her face so your lips are just out of her reach. Look her in the eyes and smile to let her butterflies fly inside her belly, creating anticipation. Keep moving your eyes from her eyes to her lips to make it clear you're interested in kissing her.
How quickly should you kiss someone? ›
Though some will feel ready for a full on smooch if the chemistry is right. Others might wish to wait until date number two or three before they lock lips with someone. If you are particularly shy or conservative, it might take longer. You should not feel pressured into kissing someone before you are ready.
